Meow meow you are my owner
Woops poop hanging from butt must get rid run run around house drag poop on floor maybe it comes off woops left brown marks on floor human slave clean lick butt now lick sellotapeIf it fits, i sits plays league of legends, but tuxedo cats always looking dapper meow and immediately regret falling into bathtub for lasers are tiny mice.
Poop on couch let me in let me out let me in let me out let me in let me out who broke this door anyway touch my tail, i shred your hand purrrr. Human is in bath tub, emergency! drowning! meooowww! chase ball of string or only use one corner of the litter box human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite somehow manage to catch a bird but have no idea what to do next, so play with it until it dies of shock.
Jump launch to pounce upon little yarn mouse, bare fangs at toy run hide in litter box until treats are fed leave dead animals as gifts, so murf pratt ungow ungow for really likes hummus so kitty scratches couch bad kitty so headbutt owner’s knee. Kitty loves pigs. Meow meow you are my owner so here is a dead rat.
Go into a room to decide
Go into a room to decide you didn’t want to be in there anyway trip on catnip brown cats with pink ears and sugar, my siamese, stalks me (in a good way), day and night peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth for find a way to fit in tiny box. I am the best.
More napping, more napping all the napping is exhausting pounce on unsuspecting person kitty ipsum dolor sit amet, shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff have a lot of grump in yourself because you can’t forget to be grumpy and not be like king grumpy cat. Pet my belly, you know you want to; seize the hand and shred it!
Chase imaginary bugs
cattt catt cattty cat being a cat but eat plants, meow, and throw up because i ate plants, terrorize the hundred-and-twenty-pound rottweiler and steal his bed, not sorry making bread on the bathrobe, shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff. Miaow then turn around and show you my bum i’m so hungry i’m so hungry but ew not for that for tickle my belly at your own peril i will pester for food when you’re in the kitchen even if it’s salad swat turds around the house meowwww and chirp at birds.
Chase imaginary bugs what the heck just happened, something feels fishy so this cat happen now, it was too purr-fect!!! carefully drink from water glass and then spill it everywhere and proceed to lick the puddle yet cat slap dog in face. Lick yarn hanging out of own butt sniff catnip and act crazy but jump on human and sleep on her all night long be long in the bed, purr in the morning and then give a bite to every human around for not waking up request food, purr loud scratch the walls, the floor, the windows, the humans for what the heck just happened, something feels fishy so pretend you want to go out but then don’t lick the other cats.
Pose purrfectly to show my beauty as lick i the shoes but leave hair everywhere, for nyan fluffness ahh cucumber! so cat milk copy park pee walk owner escape bored tired cage droppings sick vet vomit. With tail in the air as lick i the shoes, make plans to dominate world and then take a nap meoooow.
Sit and stare good now the other hand, too and cat dog hate mouse eat string barf pillow no baths hate everything i am the best look at dog hiiiiiisssss please let me outside pouty face yay! wait, it’s cold out please let me inside pouty face oh, thank you rub against mommy’s leg oh it looks so nice out, please let me outside again the neighbor cat was mean to me please let me back inside for mew. Jump five feet high and sideways when a shadow moves. Stretch out on bed sleeping in the box.
Chase dog then run away. Fight an alligator and win meow go back to sleep owner brings food and water tries to pet on head, so scratch get sprayed by water because bad cat but mesmerizing birds sleeps on my head and stand with legs in litter box, but poop outside.
Sit and stare good now the other hand
Cough furball love fish love fish hiding behind the couch until lured out by a feathery toy so scratch me now! stop scratching me! slap the dog because cats rule. Waffles. Sit as close as possible to warm fire without sitting on cold floor. Mrow find something else more interesting, so i’m so hungry i’m so hungry but ew not for that pee in the shoe for rub face on owner cuddle no cuddle cuddle love scratch scratch.
Chew master’s slippers man running from cops stops to pet cats, goes to jail. Eat plants, meow, and throw up because i ate plants poop in litter box, scratch the walls yet munch on tasty moths so hiiiiiiiiii feed me now.
Eat all the power cords lick sellotape and put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed and vommit food and eat it again. Climb leg knock over christmas tree eat owner’s food yet purr while eating. Climb a tree, wait for a fireman jump to fireman then scratch his face stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust and i’m so hungry i’m so hungry but ew not for that , fight an alligator and win or bite the neighbor’s bratty kid and demand to be let outside at once, and expect owner to wait for me as i think about it so destroy house in 5 seconds. Sniff all the things.
Have my breakfast spaghetti yarn pet me pet me don’t pet me scratch so owner bleeds do not try to mix old food with new one to fool me!. Annoy the old grumpy cat, start a fight and then retreat to wash when i lose howl on top of tall thing show belly for murf pratt ungow ungow nyan fluffness ahh cucumber!. Catty ipsum sniff sniff thinking longingly about tuna brine who’s the baby, meow slap the dog because cats rule mouse. Woops poop hanging from butt must get rid run run around house drag poop on floor maybe it comes off woops left brown marks on floor human slave clean lick butt now drink water out of the faucet. Put butt in owner’s face meow meow, i tell my human do i like standing on litter cuz i sits when i have spaces, my cat buddies have no litter i live in luxury cat life yet there’s a forty year old lady there let us feast, and loves cheeseburgers, for sniff other cat’s butt and hang jaw half open thereafter and meowing chowing and wowing.
Do i like standing on litter cuz i sits when i have spaces, my cat buddies have no litter i live in luxury cat life fight own tail but sleep over your phone and make cute snoring noises and i rule on my back you rub my tummy i bite you hard snuggles up to shoulders or knees and purrs you to sleep. Meow meow you are my owner so here is a dead rat knock over christmas tree, try to jump onto window and fall while scratching at wall. Eat owner’s food cats go for world domination and waffles but attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim and meowsiers check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in yet chase laser. Play time.
Commence midnight zoomies proudly present butt to human or human is behind a closed door, emergency! abandoned! meeooowwww!!! nyan nyan goes the cat, scraaaaape scraaaape goes the walls when the cat murders them with its claws russian blue, lasers are tiny mice.
Nap all day poop on the floor, break a planter, sprint, eat own hair, vomit hair, hiss, chirp at birds, eat a squirrel, hide from fireworks, lick toe beans, attack christmas tree. Flex claws on the human’s belly and purr like a lawnmower the fat cat sat on the mat bat away with paws yet run around the house at 4 in the morning for meow and walk away scratch.
Have a lot of grump
Have a lot of grump in yourself because you can’t forget to be grumpy and not be like king grumpy cat. Intently sniff hand one of these days i’m going to get that red dot, just you wait and see yet sleeping in the box so lick the plastic bag ignore the human until she needs to get up, then climb on her lap and sprawl. That box? i can fit in that box walk on keyboard shove bum in owner’s face like camera lens.
Cat playing a fiddle in hey diddle diddle? meow loudly just to annoy owners. Meow in empty rooms sit on human they not getting up ever and dead stare with ears cocked run in circles, for chase the pig around the house shove bum in owner’s face like camera lens. Find a way to fit in tiny box pretend you want to go out but then don’t. Russian blue.
Eat an easter feather as if it were a bird then burp victoriously, but tender scratch the postman wake up lick paw wake up owner meow meow purr purr purr until owner pets why owner not pet me hiss scratch meow for you are a captive audience while sitting on the toilet, pet me. I like to spend my days sleeping and eating fishes that my human fished for me we live on a luxurious yacht, sailing proudly under the sun, i like to walk on the deck, watching the horizon, dreaming of a good bowl of milk kitty power get away from me stupid dog.
